The host, Kim Fuller, reads a short bio before I take the stage:
Patty Mancini is first and foremost a devoted mother of two and grandmother of 4. She is a lover of culture and art, a world traveler and lifelong learner. Patty has a BA in Education and is a certified yoga teacher and the author of a blog at loverematched.com.
At the young age of 60, she retired from teaching after more than 30 years of dedicated service and rented her home to embark on a year of adventure. She’s single and ready to mingle, navigating life as a gypsy. Her tagline is “I am not homeless, but rather a girl without a home. Isn’t life grand!”
On Tuesday, November 28, 2023, I attended and spoke at a monthly Born to Rise Storytelling Event. If you haven’t yet attended, you are missing something special. Check it out at borntorise.live. Typically, 3 women are chosen to tell their story and they are given 15 minutes to speak to a prompt, “I knew I could.”
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Glennon Melton encourages us to “Be messy, complicated and afraid, and show up anyway.” I am. I do. It’s why I am here speaking at this event, messy, complicated and quaking in my boots!
Kim Fuller keeps showing up and bringing us together with such grace and ease. Building community takes grit and dedication, time, effort, money and a great leap of faith and courage. Namaste, Kim Fuller. I bow to you.
She encourages the presenters to take the stage without notes and speak from the heart. “Hmmmm,” I paused, put the mic down and ripped up my notes. Then I pulled a duplicate set of index cards from my back pocket, “Just kidding,” I laughed.
I knew I could. I knew I could, I knew I could…. Truth is, I didn’t know I could. I’ve spent a large portion of my life downplaying my existence, never quite making the mark, but I’m not here to tell you my old, tired story. It’s time to rewrite the script and retrain the mind because all a person truly needs to do is find the clarity, courage and self-love to turn it around. As women, we have all triumphed. We have pushed through labor, laundry, cleaning, and caretaking. We are incredibly strong and resilient; we persevere. We are the glue that holds the world together!
Tonight I’d like to highlight a few dots on my timeline, not to brag, but rather to illustrate the power of the female spirit.
I got pregnant in my first semester of college and chose to have my baby. The father of my child enlisted in the Air Force, and we were whisked across the country for the next 4 years. Without family, friends or a familiar environment, without knowing how to cook, clean a toilet or plan for grocery shopping, I can’t begin to tell you the loneliness, fear, and struggle that ensued.
Despite living at poverty level in Arizona, our household income was less than $14,000 and we lived in substandard housing for several years, I took good care of myself and my family. I breastfed both of my babies for 13 months. Thankfully, my mama had taught me to focus on health; the importance of nutrition, exercise, good hygiene and most importantly, moderation.
I quit smoking cold turkey at the age of 20 and never lit up again. It took more than a handful of years before I didn’t want one again.
At the age of 22, my second blessing arrived. I raised my two babies and continued to attend college part time. I was so driven, I studied for a test that night in the hospital and put my sweet girl into a belly pack and went in to take the test the next day. Education was a saving grace! And it continued to impact the rest of my life, like the reverberating ripples from a stone tossed into a still pond.
I graduated with a BA at the age of 28 from the University of RI and served as a dedicated teacher for 30 + years while doing my very best to raise my two precious children. I’m still working to let go of Mama guilt. Surely, I was too young.
The self-help section at Barnes and Noble was my best friend! I’ve been climbing for a lifetime and still strive to grow. It appears to be part of my DNA to push beyond my comfort zone and at times I make it so darned hard. I have a friend who has gently whispered into my ear for years, “Try not to try so hard.”
She is one of my 3 dearest teacher friends who taught me so much about life: how to entertain, how to laugh out loud, how to find my voice, how to play, how to treat myself, be generous, and most importantly, how to be a good friend. Their kindness, patience and unconditional love was a saving grace.
Finding yoga was my next giant leap toward personal growth. The Bhagavad Gita proclaims, “Yoga is the practice of tolerating the consequences of being yourself.” Wowza, I had a lot of tolerating to do! All That Matters Yoga Studio in Wakefield, under the ownership of Joan Dwyer, propelled me toward other growth opportunities like a 500 YTT certificate, a yearlong Course in Miracles with Devarshi, and just recently an 8-month Compassion 2023 course with Jenn Thomas. Maha gratitude to my many teachers!
Glennon Doyle encourages us to be messy, complicated, afraid and show up anyways. I am. I do.
Besides becoming a mama at the age of 19, the second scariest leap was making the excruciating decision to divorce after 34 years of marriage. I’d gone from being a daughter to a wife and mother at a very young age and had never been alone, never paid bills, never lived for myself.
Post divorce I taught school and ran an AirBnB for extra income. I now owned my own home and had purchased a new car for the first time in my life! I was out of my comfort zone big time, but with small steps and bagfuls of loving support, much of which came from my ex-husband, I charted a new path, a new life in my own way.
I continue to travel and dance often. Although these days, my dancing queens and I typically attend a Sunday Funday event from 4:00-7:00 and cut out at 6:00! With age comes wisdom!
During Covid, I had the good fortune of finding Rebecca Gold. Writing would become the next leg of my journey up the mountain! Sharing stories proved to be a powerful vehicle for healing and connection, especially when shared. The sharing continues in my blog, loverematched.com.
One big leap leads to another, right? I prematurely retired in June, a delay in collecting a pension and no income called for a creative twist.
Currently, although I am not homeless, I am a girl without a home; a gypsy who chose to rent her home for a year, take the money, and run! I am traveling for months at a time and living with family and friends in the spaces between.
Leaving my Little House of Light proved more difficult than I could have imagined. I spent the summer cleaning out, packing up, giving away, and selling items on Facebook Marketplace. It was sad and painful at times letting go of my things, my past life. On the other hand, it was emancipating.
So here I am at the age of 60, blessed with 2 incredible, successful and independent children who married equally spectacular partners to produce 4 amazing grandchildren I am over the moon for! My parents are still alive and well and we all live in RI. Pinch me.
I’m still stretching beyond my comfort zone. Am I still trying too hard? I don’t know. But this is what I do know: I now see that although I didn’t think I could, there was a deep undercurrent that carried me through triumphs, kerplunks, painful growth spurts, doubts and fears. The turn around; I always knew I could and I did!
There are many ways to the top of the mountain, my friends. At times, I feel like I’m clawing my way up, crawling on bloody knees, but I’ve come to understand that suffering is part of this miracle called Life and I am working toward feeling it all. The possibilities are endless and my future bright.
It’s never, never too late!
I will continue to learn and push forward because I am a force of nature, and so are you. I hope you’ll go home and take stock of all your little and big accomplishments. Please take full credit for the tenacity and courage that got you to the here and now. And offer gratitude to those who helped you along the way. We can’t do it alone.
I bow to you.
Namaste.