Do you believe life events happen for us or to us? Do you believe everything happens for a reason or are the events in our lives random? Is it our responses to these events that create suffering or silver linings? If we slow down enough, can we catch the sacred and blessed moments we so often miss?
On January 2, 2026, I boarded a plane to South Carolina to spend time with my daughter and her family. Besides precious time together, our main goal was to help get her settled in a new home.
My mom and Dad had generously stuffed some cash into my pocket for the trip. Upon landing in Charleston, E and I went out for a delicious seafood dinner while illness set up camp in my bones.
Along with Christmas gifts, I had brought the flu to S.C. and took it home with me a week later!
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My son graciously picked me up after midnight from T.F. Green and set me up in his studio apartment for the night.
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But it’s the chain of magical events that follow, I most wish to share.
*While on the toilet the next morning, being nosey and curious, I opened the closet door to inspect its contents. And behold, there hanging from the inside knob were two necklaces, and good gracious, they were mine! I hadn’t lived in that house for close to ten years! They were oddly symbolic and timely. One black cord held a Hindu Goddess and the other a gray stone heart. My heart is my focus.
*Later that morning my partner kindly picked me up to transfer my sick ass to my Airbnb to continue the quarantine. We both wore masks and kept good distance as I was still deep in the throes of illness.
As we pulled up to the five-minute light at Oak Hill, I queried, “Do you think we should go north to Starbucks or south to Wakefield?” He responded, “Well, I hate to go north to go south.” I do too, so I waited out the light and turned left onto Route 4. Yet intuitively, I already knew the answer to this time and efficiency equation: go one exit north to the drive-thru and take Route 138 to avoid the whole shitshow of Wakefield. It was another clear seeing, another nudge from the universe, a very small, yet powerful example of how I often relegate my inner knowing to another. My heart wants to speak.
*My partner and I have had many conversations about my deep desire to move back to My Little House of Light. I’ve been a guest in many homes over the past three years of post-retirement.
Although we hadn’t planned on such a sudden departure, the flu had set the inevitable in motion. In hindsight, it was a blessing because moving out was simply heartbreaking. We have managed to continue our committed and loving relationship. My heart wants to experience love.
*Being down and out afforded me the opportunity to slow to a crawl. I literally read, puzzled, set mouse traps, slowly decorated my new space and stocked my frig. My Mama brought me the best homemade chicken soup in history; delicious and nutritious, as well as physically and spiritually soothing. My heart wants to heal.
*Upon finishing one library book and waiting for the next exchange, I went to the bookshelf set up for my Airbnb guests. I discovered a book that can only be deemed as divine intervention. I’d purchased and read the book back in 2014! The inscription read, “33 days starting July 5, 2014. A beautiful, sunny day.” Below that, I added a second, “33 days starting 1/14/26. A beautiful winter day.” Each of the 33 days is filled with morning, noon, and evening meditations. Day 1 is on fear. “The invisible force of fear is the knot in your heart that keeps you from fully loving.” Panache Desai My heart wants to open.
*Another irony was receiving a text from my life coach sharing that she’d be MIA until further notice. I had collected two pages of worries, issues, and grievances to mull over with her. Now I was forced to turn in, trust myself, and more importantly, move on and let that shit go! My heart is ready.
*I follow Lisa Marie Rankin on Substack and gleaned this little gem: “Step off the healing journey and on to the heroine’s journey!” I’ve spent so much time and energy seeking growth. But now, with humble gratitude, I am beginning to believe I already have everything within and can lay down the constant striving. There is nothing inherently wrong with me. My heart wants to be still and know.
*Finally, my five-year-old granddaughter sent me a text that blew me wide open. It was a long page of colorful heart emojis and in the center were the words, “Love Boom Love everybody in the world, except Boom heart, light of hearts.” How did she put together such a perfectly encrypted message? My heart wants to be loved.
As the days ticked by, my coffee started to taste like coffee again, and as I began to feel better, I texted a few pictures to my closest people; one of a mouse trap, one of a larger outdoor trap, and one of an old, faded picture of my brother and me, propped atop a little espresso cup that reads, Love is Love. My daughter asked, “What do you hope to catch in that thing?”
I leaned in, “My heart. I’m trying to catch my heart.”
She said, “No, I meant the large trap!”
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The following week I was well enough to attend the first of a six-week study of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Gratitude filled my heart for the ability to join with community after a long, lonely recovery.
All the things… pure magic and more proof that the universe conspires on our behalf.
Be well, my friends. Take the best care of you.
p.s. If you begin to exhibit flu symptoms, get to your doctor within the first day or two. My daughter got Tamiflu early on and it cut her illness in half.