Isn’t that what we all want, a room of our own? Post divorce I purchased a home and had the pleasure of designing and decorating the interior and exterior. There were twinkly lights everywhere, along with colorful artwork, a red couch, funky rugs, lamps, plants, Buddhas, stained glass and books. All the things I loved and all the rooms; I got to experience life on my own terms for the first time in my life!
*
As a child and the only girl, I always had my own room and completely adored my space! I rejoiced in setting beloved items on my bureau and had no shortage of little trinkets and toys, the tiniest items were most treasured.
In the white raised ranch, my mom and dad allowed me to pick out an orange carpet and walls. In the next house, the walls were bright yellow with a stucco stalactite ceiling. I felt so empowered, creative, independent and free.
Creating spaces continued outdoors as a form of play. Janey and I would set up offices among the rocks at the edge of Narrow River. I always felt in flow whether creating shoreline offices with Janey, drawing chalk rooms on the neighborhood streets, or setting up log homes on the forest floor. Even these spaces provided a feeling of ownership and safety, power and autonomy. Creating a place to be is a creative expression and deep need.
Looking back now, it appears that although I was playing alongside others, I always felt best in my own world, when sitting in my own rock office organizing my tools and shoreline finds.
At a deeper glance, I wonder when my inability to connect deeply with others began.
*
For many years. I dreamed of having a tiny house of my own in a small village and purchasing my home in Wickford got me as close to that dream as possible.
My walk-in closet also served as my writing and meditation space. While on zoom with my writing group, a backdrop of colorful clothing, I would joke that I wasn’t out of the closet yet.
They delighted in my creation, and I did some of my best writing there in my little house of light. I became me.
As you may already know, I rented it out for nine months to travel post-retirement. It was a grand experiment, learning to live the life of a minimalist. It was truly the adventure of a lifetime and one I’ll never forget or regret.
I returned briefly in the summer of 2024 and within that small window of time, a neighbor approached me. They needed a place for 9 months while building a new home on the water. I thought long and hard, Well, I am still swimming in the twilight of detachment; not fully settled back into the space, and Tom and I are quite solid by now. I’ll rent a room at Tom’s and return next summer. Another adventure! Why not?
I now live with a wonderful man who is an engineer minimalist. And although it’s a beautiful home filled with the best housewares available to mankind, I am surrounded by only muted colors, grand furniture, and plants. My contributions, (and I tiptoed here), were a lighted tower in the corner of the dining room holding a Buddha and plants, and a wreath on the door.
For nine months, I’ve plugged in my lighted tower and written at the dining room table. However, over time I discovered my creativity was stifled without a room of my own; a room filled with magic and inspiration, a room that offered a sense of freedom and safety; a space from which to center my own experience.
It is within the struggle to honor Self while negotiating needs within a partnership that we learn and grow. This need forced me to use my voice, speak my truth and be direct, while practicing patience, kindness and respect. This is the work.
As I write this post, I am sitting in a beautiful room at a desk facing two gorgeous windows, with the lighted tower in one corner, and a meditation blanket and bolster in the other. The desktop holds colorful and inspiring items along with a treasured Mont Blanc pen (that’s another story!)
I can’t tell you how grateful I am for this space. It wasn’t just a want, but a need.
Take the best care of yourself, stay true to you and speak up until you get what you need.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Blessings to you, my dear Readers and Friends.