I’m perched at the end of a long table in an Airbnb, sipping coffee and peering into the white, barren landscape of a remote town in Canada.
Just yesterday, my son and grandson met me at Ma and Papa’s new condo to visit and remove three feet of snow from their porch. School had been cancelled for the entire week and just before they left, my son mentioned they were leaving for a ski trip and asked if I could be ready within the hour. He also mentioned a passport!
My heart leapt, but not for joy. I was conflicted. This family is fearless, fast paced and impulsive. But they are also a ton of fun, full of laughter and life!
Do I stay home for the next three days, going about my usual or jump in for an adventure?
Fear drummed, “Stay home, safe and small.”
Ego puffed, “You’re a 62 year old phenom. You can still ski, but it could all go tits up!”
It was my heart that won out as it whispered, “This is an opportunity to grab quality time with my precious children and grandchildren.”
The car was packed to the hilt with 5 grown adults and a large dog. My feet never found the floor. I thank the Divine for my yoga practice; the ability to fold myself up like origami for five hours and climb out still able to walk.
Speaking of origami, my partner often comments on the origami floating in the toilet. Do you fold your toilet paper, also? It’s one of my many conservation efforts. “IM” me privately if you want to share.
Once over the state line, I learned we did not yet have a place to stay! This is how they roll!
The next morning, we skied Owl’s Head. I harnessed energy from my clenched buttock cheeks to squeeze into boots that required a plunge down into the boot requiring a180-degree foot angle before making the turn to their 90-degree resting place. I have bruises.
As I traversed the mostly powdered trails, my family weaved in and out of glades, crisscrossed my path, sped past and took jumps, all while I talked myself down the black diamonds (they didn’t tell me about).
Metaphors filled my head comparing the risky act of flying down a slick incline on two sticks with living one’s best life.
Lesson #1: Keep your heart open. As soon as you turn your shoulder inward, you lose balance and fear sets in.
Lesson #2: Keep knees soft and lean in. Don’t get caught back on your heels. We miss out when we reside in reactive mode.
Lesson #3: Breathe steadily and stay open to the experience. When we hold our breath, we activate fight/flight leading to a greater propensity for injury.
Lesson #4: Be adventurous. Push toward your edge; take a few jumps and go a bit faster. Feel the thrill but then throw it into pizza.
Lesson #5: Take frequent breaks to admire the view and check in to listen to your body. When your thighs begin to quiver, it’s time to head in.
Lesson #6: To support your performance, drink lots of water and feed it with the highest quality food available.
If we want to grow and experience all life has to offer, we must be willing to push past our limits (fear of change), pull back to feel (sit in it), assess and integrate (find a new normal).
Life is a never-ending cycle of expansion and contraction.
Breathe in Love, breathe out fear.
“Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.”
Doe Zantamata