What do you tell a young student who isn’t making good choices in friendships, nor putting in sufficient academic effort, yet is clearly intelligent, athletic, and talented?
Well, a story. A true story that you hope will illustrate the great benefit of staying the course. A story that encourages one to take the best care of body and mind. One that gives a sense of purpose for staying in school and developing a strong work ethic.
I told my young friend about the gratitude I have for my mama who taught me how to care for my body. Eating well is my passion and I cook the majority of my meals. Moving my body is another and I enjoy many athletic activities.
I tell my young student, “I am going to be 60 in June and I am going to retire. I worked hard to get here and the best part is that I am still physically capable of any challenge I wish to attain from climbing a mountain to running a marathon. I can do anything!”
I continued to share that I was married young and we started out real poor. We had nothing. My then husband had joined the Air Force and we were stationed at Williams Air Force Base, Arizona. My Grama had given me some of her kitchen supplies to pack into the U-haul for the over 3,000 mile cross-country trip. Everything we owned was in the tiny trailer we pulled behind our 1974 used Gold Scout.”
Once settled in our first apartment, I noticed a scrawny, homeless cat hanging out at my back door and compassionately put out some milk in one of Grama’s Tupperware bowls. The next morning I discovered the bowl had been heisted. How poor is that!!!
But as destitute as we were, I took good care of myself and my family. I also went to college at night, sometimes with a newborn baby in my arms. It took me eight years to achieve my Bachelor’s Degree. Not to brag, but that was some staying power. I can’t really tell you where I drew my perseverance and strength from; I had a deeply innate knowing that it was my way out.
Talk about a long, lonely struggle! I was across the country raising two babies and didn’t know how to make or be a good friend. So I went to school instead and thank Heavens for that! I wouldn’t be in the position I am today without my education.
Upon my return to Rhode Island and landing a teaching job, I met three of my very best friends. And they were true life-savers in every sense of the word. My anxiety was at an all time high as I was out of my league in all sorts of ways.
However, I kept showing up. And leveling up in my friendships turned out to be one of the best moves of my life. My dear girlfriends patiently taught me the ropes to becoming a better mother, wife, teacher, and very importantly, a friend. I am forever indebted as they changed the trajectory of my life and continue to support my path. (Thank you, Peg, Mary, and Kath from the bottom of my heart.)
I remind all of my students quite often, “You are who your friends are, so choose wisely.”
Could I have ever imagined arriving here? Not in a bazillion years!
Today I am a happy, healthy, single woman who owns her own home, has time to prepare the best of foods, and has the resources to experience the world at her leisure. One who fully enjoys her two beautiful, successful and loving adult children, their spouses, and four precious grandchildren! And Bonus: my mom and dad are still alive and well. (Thank you, Mama, for the thousands of hours you gave selflessly in caring for us. She continues to cook three meals a day!)
Finally, I look into his eyes and share a warm smile as I genuinely proclaim, “I stayed the course and I won. And you can too.”
“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful. L. R. Knost