Are you a list maker? I can’t remember the exact moment I fell in love with the process, but I would guess my planner obsession started over 35 years ago. Driving to Barnes and Noble to peruse a variety of New Year planners was a close second to opening gifts on Christmas morning!
Over the years I have purchased journals of all styles and sizes. Some were inspirational, filled with quotes and lily pad images, others were intensely focused on organization. Some of them felt like a personal trainer was going to pop out screaming, “Go, go, go, go, go!”
I’d sit down on a Sunday night and transfer the upcoming week to paper. My original paper lists started as one week-long laundry list. Crossing those items off gave me great satisfaction, even though the list rarely grew shorter. Years later this morphed into a weekly list with only 6 blank spaces below each day of the week.
I enjoyed every aspect of list making from the physical writing and color coding, to the checkbox and removal of entire days! It was a control thing and I prided myself on packing it all in like a game of Tetris and not missing a beat.
At some point along the way, I realized that I was constantly “doing” and very rarely “being”. As a self-help junkie, I eventually learned that staying busy was a way to remain disconnected and distracted.
My path to healing began when I started making time for reading and writing. Journal writing was essential and most likely saved my life. I also had the great fortune to work with many powerful spiritual leaders and practitioners along the way.
Learning to slow down and feel was in part due to aging, as I simply couldn’t keep up the pace anymore. However, it was due in larger part to a growing wisdom and desire to use my precious time to connect with Self and others.
A few months back, I experimented with quitting list making entirely and the freedom was palpable. I am smart and intuitive enough to figure out what needs to happen. See the laundry piling up…time to wash. See the weeds growing….time to pull, out of food…time to shop. I want to trust that it will all work out while facing the fact that I am not in control. This kind of letting go makes me miracle ready.
Admittedly, list making is still a part of my daily routine, but I try to keep it to three items or less and I get super excited when there is plenty of blank space. In the past that blank space would have sent me into panic mode. Now, I get to relish the moments sitting on my porch reading a good book, cooking, riding my bike, playing pickle ball, and creating.
I am overwhelmingly grateful that I am finally getting comfortable in my own skin, stay fairly grounded even in triggered situations, and have greater ability to connect and stay present for and with the people I love.
I will leave you with these brilliant quotes;
“You can say yes to nearly everything that really matters if you are strict about saying no to nearly everything that really doesn’t.” J. Clear
“Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing by degree of presence.” Alan Watts
And as my good friend Kathy says, “Try not to try so hard.” J. Taylor
Be well, dear ones.