A peaceful cow standing by a wire fence in a foggy rural field at sunrise, surrounded by vivid foliage.

Tum-a-Lum Farm

On July 8, 2025, I turned right onto Route 108 toward URI to attend an OLLI course titled, Memoir Writing: What I Learned Writing the Story of RI’s Famous Bull.  There was an accident ahead and many impatient drivers jerked their vehicles around like Rocky Point bumper cars.  I considered my options, If I turn back to take another route, I’ll certainly be late, but if I sit tight, there’s a slim chance I’ll be on time.

As I drove by the scene, one car’s nose remained deeply wedged within an old New England stone wall; the truck with a decapitated back tire had already been taken away.

I didn’t run up the stairs to the second-floor classroom.  I didn’t spaz out and slide into the room like Kramer, huffing and puffing.  Rather, I calmly checked off my name on the pad at the door and took a seat.  The attendees were in the midst of introductions, anecdotes, and claim to fame connections to the author and her story. When my turn came, I honestly shared, “I haven’t read your book, but I’m looking forward to doing so.  I’m really here as an aspiring memoir writer.”

Carla Panciera is a down-to-earth, captivating storyteller.  In between her stories, she’d pause to offer tidbits on craft, “There are two jobs of a personal essay or memoir: to reveal the narrator and to prove a point beyond the obvious, to touch on something larger that grabs the audience.”

And this she accomplished thoroughly. Although I know nothing about farm life, her stories of the cows and the bull were fascinating and I truly can’t wait to read, Barnflower, A RI Farm Memoir! This story is not only a collection of fascinating stories about animals, but a families’ immigration to America, the purchase of a farm, a father’s dream, and the beautiful messy realness of life.

Carla asks us to take a few minutes to think about our own memoir, “What are the things you want to share? Focus on a time in your life, whether it be a month, a year, or a decade.  Where might your story begin?  Set the image, the scene, and gather the legends, your family lore.”

A few volunteers shared their ideas.  My hand shot up, “My memoir begins after 34 years of marriage and raising two children.  It begins post-divorce in my Little House of Light where I begin to find and honor my-Self.”

Carla admitted she had not set out to write a memoir, she simply started out writing stories about the cows. 

She continues, “Additionally, consider what themes might emerge from your own stories. And what characteristics of yourself might appear in them? She admitted her theme of the America Dream emerged much later in the process.” 

“Memoir is a narration of our lives on our terms; we get to say it how we like and the way we remember it,” she cautioned it could also be a pitfall. 

As the cow stories accumulated and the possibility of a novel sparked, she began to research her family and ancestors to include a visit back to a little village in northern Italy. She interviewed her sisters and brothers and learned they didn’t have any recollection of entire events or remembered them differently. “So, in many cases the writer needs to cobble together dialogue and fact to create authentic details,” a student commented.

“Yes. And when you write, you call up more memories.  They are buried within and as you write dialogue, there is a deep knowing of what your parents would have said,” she encouraged.

Of course, I bought a signed copy of Carla’s book!  I’ve also reserved a copy at the library so my Dad and I can read it at the same time. Although Dad is a man of few words, as was Carla’s, I hope this story will stir up beautiful memories for him.  And I pray we feel deeply connected, even if only in the silent space between.

 I am forever grateful for this precious hour and a half of storytelling, memoir writing advice, and a spark of inspiration. Much of what Carla shared resonated so deeply. It was a magical moment in time forever seared into my being.  By the grace of a higher power, I was in the right place at the right time.